Just read your entire sitch and am curious why you think your W is in MLC? Not sure I see the signs.
LH,Thank you for taking the time to read through my entire sitch. That means a lot.
Some more details on my sitch She was emotionally dependent on me for almost everything though 10 years of marriage. Then she started showing signs of trying to pursue happiness away from me. I did not see it earlier but I think I can see her denial stage now. We started doing more things outside the house, she never liked alcohol much but started drinking multiple days a week. She acted happy but I think she needed the alcohol to pretend she was happy with me. We had a big fight a year ago and she said she was not happy being with me. She started rewriting history and blaming me. I got upset and we both mentioned the D word and I consider this to be my official BD. When things cooled down, I apologized but we were in IHS now. I gave her "some" space but was still trying to win her back. She seemed depressed and would shut herself in her room most of the time. I did some 180s but not correctly. Eventually we had another fight 8 months later and she filed. It was only then I realized how badly I wanted to save the MR. I made all the mistakes - begging, pleading. She listened, gave me a talk on rewritten history, ILYBNILWY, the works. Later, I found this forum and started giving her space. Things improved and the tension got down but she did not want to back off from the D. The Ls kept the process going forward at a fast pace but I decided not to fight or resist the D and in 3 months the D was done just like that. Over the past 3 months she has become more friendly. She is now showing me respect and initiating conversations but still moved out.
Why I think she is in MLC Her father was away from home for extended periods of time when she was growing up. Classic set up to be a chaos kid. The progression of events seem to fit the MLC pattern. While the MR was not perfect she was happy to be a SAHM focused on kids and family. I can also see clear signs of her being in denial and anger stages. The replay was mostly focused on her trying to start a new career. I have no idea where she is now or if she is in MLC at all.
Why she may not be in MLC She is not wayward. She has not abandoned the kids. On the contrary she has been more focused on them. She has been selfish but not vindictive or hateful towards me
