She's dead set on a separation agreement, which she is framing under the logic of "I want it out of the way so we can focus on the more important work, which is healing and understanding what we want." Sure, I can somewhat buy that. I did point back that it's basically a D, just without the file, to which she said she's not thinking about that right now, only what's in front of us.
Yes D is her goal for now, but she wants to dangle the carrot of hope out there so you'll be more compliant in the separation agreement.
Quote
There's a huge sticking point ahead of us though: she pointed out that when we were naive and in the throes of love, I had said that I viewed marriage as a partnership and everything gets split 50/50, and would be willing to get pre/post-nups as such.
Oh I see, so let me get this straight, she wants to hold you to a statement you made all googly-eyed in love before marriage but she doesn't want to be held to statements that she made IN THE WEDDING TO GOD, FAMILY AND THE WORLD promising to love, honor and cherish until death do you part? Yeah, funny how WAS logic works. Look, what you said doesn't matter, it's not legally binding. Fight for what is yours. I fully believe in being fair in division of assets, but what is "fair" (and legal) is that any pre-M assets do not get split. Period.
Quote
I honestly did not know at the time that the split is only for assets gained during the marriage
It doesn't matter, it wasn't a legally binding agreement. No lawyer or judge will think it was. She contributed nothing to whatever assets you accumulated before M.
Quote
This is going to be a huge fight, and I don't see how it's not going to destroy all chances of reconciliation.
It won't be a huge fight because there's really nothing to fight about. Your L will laugh at the prospect that she would even attempt to go for pre-marital assets. That aside, you and others on this forum need to quit saying this statement- "XYZ will destroy all chances of reconciliation" because that is ridiculous. No one thing you did got you to this point and no one thing is going to fix it or ruin it. If you think fighting for what is yours (pre-marital assets, child custody, unfair child support and/ or alimony) is going to hurt your chances of a future with your W you are WRONG. If anything she will gain MORE respect for you when you stand up and fight for your rights instead of just being a wuss and giving her everything she wants.
Read this and live this- QUIT GIVING HER ALL THE POWER!!!!!