Don... Anyone who has any familiarity with me and my sitch knows that when I say don’t worry about it, do what makes you happy, that I am talking about OLD and not saying we should do whatever we want at others’ expense or ignoring any huge red flags. That’s not what I said or what I meant.
RE: Love being a choice or not. I think in long term relationships, in order to stay “in love”, one does have to make choices... to do things that support and promote the feeling of love. At the start of relationships, when hormones and brain chemicals are at their peak, it takes little effort. As time goes on and you get accustomed to the person, you need to make choices that promote and sustain that feeling... i.e. taking the time to date your partner, show an interest in them, make an effort to make them feel special, etc... That is what I think of when I think about love being a choice. My STBXH’s choices guaranteed the destruction of our relationship. He chose to distance himself and to focus on negatives and feed his resentments. He could have dealt with his feelings so much differently but he didn’t. Our relationship was always going to end in divorce. He made sure of it.
Anyway...I wish you the best Juju. I hope this guy turns out to be everything you hope he is. Just be a bit cautious and don’t ignore any red flags if you start to see some. (((HUGS)))
