You’re probably right Alison. She doesn’t have some master plan that she’s executing and is just flailing around like me. What makes it so hard is the loss of control. Not that I was ever a controlling husband but once they give you the BD you are basically done. I know the answer is to let go and work on yourself but that is sooo much easier said than done, especially in the midst of in house separation. I’m also so torn between detaching and doing 180’s. I was already pretty detached in our R which was a lot of the problem. Remaining detached is more of the same. Communicating concern and interest in her with stuff like “have a good day”, “how was your day, how was work, etc.” would be 180’s and is exactly what the OM is doing but I don’t feel that is detaching.
