I guess it's about being constructive, isn't it? If the context of the conversation was 'here's how I feel when you do x and I would like x instead' then I'd listen to that, and validate, even if I didn't agree or wasn't able or willing to do x. The spirit of the statement is constructive. But I'm done with listening to 'look! a dead houseplant! one more example of how you are a terrible person, and I need to remind you of this while sitting on your sofa and eating your food because I am feeling terrible and you need to be responsible for it!' - the line has well and truly been found for me (I've been in IC for over two years and it has taken a long time!).
And I'm with you on not knowing what is wrong. I guess neither H nor me had much emotional intelligence when we got together. Love and good luck gets you so far but when life happens, you need skills that neither of us had. I think I am working on developing them - at least I hope I am - and the healthier I get the less appealing he is to me. That is sad, but I accept that's the reality of where we are right now and where we will probably be for a very long time, unless I decide to divorce him - which to be honest feels more likely by the day.
