Just journaling a little bit. On the subway home, I started thinking about the finances again. It was hard not to get emotional, because like many people, the topic of budgets and spending were at the core of some of our biggest impasses during the M. It just really reinforced to me, again, that the M as I knew it is over. It's so hard just to be OK with that right now. The dreams we had, the excitement we had for what was ahead of us. I don't know how people do it. It's just so painful right now. That was only two years ago.
I also realized that I still don't have a great explanation for why this is happening, although I guess it's irrelevant because it's happening whether I like it or not. It was originally brought up to me as a trial separation in order to have space and gain clarity - hence the subject of the thread - but she is holding firm that it needs to be a legal separation. I'm speaking to a lawyer on Thursday, but to me there is a big difference there. My understanding is that a legal separation is the equivalent of a divorce, in that you come to a legal agreement regarding support and how assets are divided, yet you are not formally divorced and thus can retain some of the marriage benefits, such as health insurance.
I don't want to talk M or R with her, but I feel like I need to get clarity here. If she is only going the S route to maintain something like health insurance, I can't go along with that.
