Married couple from Scandinavia

[BenB]

Ben, this is awesome!! DBing works. There is another poster here that has been headed to D for over a year, and suddenly in the last couple of days, got a message out of the blue from his STBXW asking if they could put the family back together. DBing does work, when you do it well.

However, as I told him, tread lightly. Lots of people in your position ask "How will I know when she really wants to R?" The answer is when her behavior is consistent over a long period of time.

But this shows some promise, just keep DBing. Don't revert or you will be setting yourself up for BD #2.

Has your W always been a bit of a liar, especially to herself? I do believe that she convinced herself that she removed her ring to put on lotion. And I believe that she did put on lotion. But I am also sure that isn't the first time she ever applied lotion, removed her rings, and then put them back on. Not putting it back on, in light of the recent trouble in the MR, is just too big of a coincidence. Just something for you to consider.

Oh, and keep going to MC. I would also look up touch and talk charges and maybe slowly implement them. Also, I would highly suggest a weekly date night. And not just going out to dinner, but actually getting dressed up and going on a date like you did when you were courting her.

Thanks Steve,

I completely agree with you that I have to tread lightly. I have zero expectations really. She´s been acting more like herself lately but I know that can all change in an instant. She can clearly sense that I have distanced myself emotionally a lot simply because I have. I was and am ready for her to move out and I definitely don´t believe her story about why she removed the ring and deleted the photos. As you say, way too big of a coincidence.

I can see how she would lie to herself about the ring now that you say it. That she actually believes she did it for that purpose. If I was to guess the worst case scenario it would be that someone she found attractive approached her table while they were out. That night she did come home early though so I don´t think anything physical happened.

Yeah, this new MC is much better so far and my W really seems to like her. So we´ll keep going for now. Forgot to add that the therapist thinks this situation is strongly related to her cutting down on the anti depressants too fast combined with her taking out the contraceptive implant which causes a hormonal imbalance. I asked her if that really could have an effect on her mood still after so many months to which she said most definitely. W mentioned today that she now thinks this might be the case as well and suggested that she makes an appointment for getting a new implant to see if that helps. The slightly paranoid part of me thought for a minute "what if she just wants to get a new implant so she can have sex with other men".

Date night would have been fun but how could I make that happen without showing her that I am pursuing? I don´t want to suggest that only to have her distance herself again.

Also, something that could be of interest. When I came home that Saturday after the restaurant visit with my friend, she asked how it was and I explained that it was fantastic(it really was, best food I´ve had in years). She then asked if we can go there on the midsummer weekend. I reminded her that all the good restaurants including that one are closed here that weekend. I´m not sure if I should have but I then said the following "If we want a great restaurant, we can always go to Paris?". Although my W and I have traveled a lot and are foodies, we have never been to Paris. She responded that she has to see how her anxiety is over the next few days before she can answer me on that. I didn´t bring it up again but today she messaged me from work and asked if I´m still up for going to Paris. I said "sure, would be fun" and shortly after we had flights and hotels booked for the weekend.

As far as I´m concerned, this is not a romantic get away. We´re just going there to eat very good food.

Will google touch and talk charges now