It amazes me how nice we can be to our spouses, and they seem to never really appreciate it. I know my wife KNOWS that I love her more than anyone in her life has loved her before. Except for a few areas, I have always treated her like a queen. But you wouldn't think so when talking to her now! Instead, I have never been a partner. It is crazy talk, I have always been her partner. But she is just not the same person.
I sure hope that all of our spouses realize what they are giving up!
They ALL revise history. Part of the routine. I hope that you get to the point where you don't hope your W sees/doesn't see how bad her behavior is and instead just focus on yourself. You can waste a LOT of time hoping she will snap out of it, but the only control you have is what you do with this time. I'm speaking from experience. I've been standing for this marriage for 2 years and when I stopped spending time hoping and wishing and thinking about him, I became stronger and began to really grow in areas that needed change. Not for him, but it was time!
Another thing that has changed is that his behavior doesn't affect me like it used to. Detachment, for me, has been a process. I found something upsetting a few days ago and instead of letting it wreck me, I was able to move away from it much faster. This only happens with practice IMO. Any time you find yourself wishing your W was doing/not doing X,Y,Z, think of something that YOU can do for your own growth.
Sorry you are here, but use this time wisely. Don't waste time like I did in the beginning.
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
