If she was determined to leave she would. She's legally, probably, entitled to be in the house. So perhaps you just work on making sure that your actions are congruent with your feelings, and anything kind you offer to her is offered freely, whether or not she is cheating, whether or not she wants to divorce you.
Thanks Alison. That's different than I was defining it - I was thinking of cake eating as her dangling litte bits here and there to keep my hope alive while she evaluates the strength of her EA and keeps me as plan B. Seems to me that DB is not really keeping your actions congruent with feelings. I let my true feelings out on her Saturday night when I told her to get out and laid in to her about her betrayal and my distrust for her. This would be so much easier if we didn't have a D6, she wants to move out of state with her in a year.
Anyway, had a unusual (so far) interaction with wife this morning. I was in my room with door closed working on some job app stuff, she came in and asked me if anything was wrong. I said no, she said I had given her a dirty look. I said I didn't mean too, then she broke down in tears. She talked about how she was so sad about everything. I told her I was sad too. She said she wished we could have a do over and asked me if I thought she was having a MLC. I said I didn't know and did my best to validate the rest of her statements. This is the first time she has shown any hint of remorse for her actions. I know the mantra is believe nothing she says and only half of what she does, but still trying to make some sense of it.
I know she's no where near any kind of R and she will probably regret the things she said to me this morning, she frequently flip flops her thinking and desires. I also know I just need to keep DB'ing. Even if there was an attempt to R, the fact that there was and EA (or worse, who knows) will make it much harder for me. Appreciate any advice from anyone who has been through this.
