So, just got back from MC. Probably going to need some 2x4s.
WAW moves out Friday. Going to be super tough, but I will survive. I've been reading No More Mr. Nice Guy and identify with just about everything in it. Lots to do, lots to talk about with my IC. Starting to put some plans in place, too: reconnected with friends, joined to sports leagues, reached out about two volunteer opportunities. Time to be the best me.
In MC, we talked a bit about what our expectations are around contact post S. WAW wants to play it by ear, see what comes naturally. I let slip that I preferred for us to get as much space as we need to gain clarity on our situation. I'm concerned I played my card, which is no contact and GAL. If she's expecting it, I gain no value from it, right?
She also mentioned that she's valued the kindness we've showed each other in the run up to the actual S. I'm paraphrasing, but she said that it reminds her that we can be friends and joke around with each other, because we've built up a history of in-jokes and just knowing the other person. I'm growing concerned that this guarantees a friendzone outcome, where she's closed the door on our romantic life together and is only interested in opening it back up for a platonic friendship.
The other side of this argument is that after we S and I go no contact, GAL, work on myself, etc., if there truly is a future for us, it's going to be Phase 2, not Phase 1. Phase 1 is over, that part of our lives is dead. It seems unlikely that Phase 2 will be just like where we left off, so wouldn't that basically mean that it has to start over again the same way our original relationship did, which was a friendship that turned into more?
The plan however does not change. Detach, work on myself, put on 10 pounds of muscle, get my jump shot back, get them whites as pearly as they can be. In the meantime, hold my line and a boundary on the finances, and cut MC.
