Dilly, I say this with as much kindness as I can. But I am astonished you are paying his rent for him. You're acting as secretary to a man who treats you with contempt and throws you a couple of hugs or some civil conversation now and again, but just as often tells you he wants to get divorced. Ordering a card reader takes 2 minutes and it's been nine months. It's breathtaking. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED INTO THE FLAT. HE HAS A SECOND PHONE.
Can you make a list of the FACTS of your situation and read them through before you decide whether you call him or not?
He shouts at you in the car for no reason. He doesn't let you into the place where he lives. He is emotionally neglectful of his children. He tells you he wants a divorce. He blames you for everything. He has a secret second phone. He treats your house like %^&( then gets angry with you when you object to it, then blames you when his self-pity and anger stops him focussing on his work. He acts without basic respect - taking the key for your car, etc.
I am sure you have PLENTY you could add to this list - not from your marriage, but from the way he's behaved even in the last three months.
