Can I Save My Marriage Alone?

[CanBird]

Reading over Sandi's rules again. I've printed them out, highlighted & underlined some key points.

I know I'm not alone in this. The feeling of treading water. Keeping your head held just high enough to breath.

I live my life as I usually do. At this point in the year, H is at work until November. That's our normal. I'm not doing anything different, other than not communicating with him (other than Father's Day stuff from d3, or business).

I'm grateful we have this time apart during this rough patch. In my eyes, that's what it is. And I have to remind myself that "I can't fix what I didn't break". He's broken. I can't fix him. He needs to do his thing.

Of course I wonder, what's going through his mind? Is he okay? Is he this? Is he that? Does he have time to reflect? Does he even think about what next? This probably isn't health thinking. I'm sure upon further reading of DR, I will find the chapter about these kind of thoughts. With all this time on my hands, and no one to vent to (by choice), it's no wonder I self talk a lot. Mind you, a lot of the talk that I haven't posted is positive too. The things I say or journal to myself to vent and keep my positive spirits up.

This is the worst feeling, going through this. It's right up there with how I felt around my mother's death. Just devastated. It hurts, but as time goes on, it hurts less.