Am I doing this right??

[Goddess8]

Hey Blu!

Thank you responding. Your note about MLC rings true as I have been having the exact same thoughts. Mlc or wayward... After all my research and knowing his history MLC seemed the most logical. He seemed to be reading from a pocket edition MLC guide for dummies Is it possible the two share traits and overlap? I know he left to pursue the OW moving out at her insistence due to insecurity of us being around each other while she was deployed and out of the picture. Jokes on her because he was over at my house 4 days a week(no overnights) and we talked daily. I really FEEL like those months were benificial for us to rebuild the tattered bridges of our relationship.

I know the OW is still in the picture based on conversation he had this past week with my SiL. He said things were bad and they always fought. That she didnt trust him about anything(can't imagine why lol) It was also relayed to me that after getting called on his BS he admitted that yes we were good before he met OW( I know we had underlying issues). SiL also asked him whats stopping him from going home if he's so unhappy with the OW and the situation. He responded with a quiet I dont know. Now mind you the last time months ago she asked H a similar question he said he was never moving back. I agree with you with the sense even with the ow still hanging around that he is considering coming home.

One thing that makes me belly laugh is his choice of decor for his apt. He has filled it with things that remind him of home. If not straight up things I was getting rid of. He had specifically sought out items in brands I love and shop for. I know not to read into it I just think it's hilarious.

Yes! The shift in mood for lack of a better word. It feels different. I think that was my main reason for posting the whole convo. I was struggling with the thoughts that I'd said too much and not wanting to read to much into things. H has always been a man of little words. But first to call BS on someone. After months in the begining of spew then cold silence with patches of normal conversation then the more normal while ow was gone. Then a couple months back getting the maybe I love you and maybe I miss you and maybe I made a mistake. Then saying he loves someone else in the same conversation. To which I responded ok I don't think Ive ever responded how he expected me too. Minus the first few weeks after BD. Yikes those were rough. But I digress... Yes he's said he was very confused and depressed. Loved both me and ow and didnt know what to do. Thats why after she came back and he didnt talk to me for days the NC decision was an easy one. Like i said Sat to him, he made his choice I respected his right to chose and removed myself from the situation. I am not second best or an after thought. I WILL be number one or nothing. I have proved my worth time and again over numerous deployments and kids and houses. I SEE myself clearer and truer than ever before. I am not perfect but I am worth it.

And don't be sorry H is a jerk. A total a$$. I am pleased to note though he's been better with the kids and more interested and involved(prior to this last month of ow being back) than he's ever been. H is having meaningful bonding with S15 which they very much need.


I can totally see how him making effort can be emotionally exhausting. I've spent months living my life for myself and my kids. Adding him back into the mix while the preferred goal for the family will definitely be filled with ups and downs and a whole different sent of issues.


I think between the talk with my SiL (hearing Ow was laying next to him while they talked and it not bothering me) and his texting Saturday night not actively immediately getting my hopes ups. I have been able to detach more than i realized. Even my mom commented last week how Ive been talking less and less about our sitch.
Less him and more me. Isn't that the ultimate LBS goal lol