Hit by the dreaded ILYBNILWY part 2

[ovrrnbw]

Sounds like she wants to be a brat, don't play along just do what's right for you.

[SteveLW]

mikeyb, I love how you handled most of this. Stand your ground, you are gaining her respect! I'm also a huge proponent of not making D easy for the walkaway. I made sure my WW knew that if she filed it would be the long, expensive, process that she was trying to avoid. You can't stop someone from divorcing you, but you can make it difficult for them!

[mikeyb]

mikeyb, I love how you handled most of this. Stand your ground, you are gaining her respect! I'm also a huge proponent of not making D easy for the walkaway. I made sure my WW knew that if she filed it would be the long, expensive, process that she was trying to avoid. You can't stop someone from divorcing you, but you can make it difficult for them!

Yup, I'm not trying to stop her but I'm also not going to pushed around and expected to meet her demands. Not gonna happen. Anyway about to load up my last bit of stuff, leave my key and be gone. I've gotten a new phone number as well since we were on her mom's plan and she was being difficult with letting me port the number so I said whatever and just got a new one. The W was trying to get me to give it to her and I said no. She was trying to find out where I was going, wouldn't tell her. If she needs to get ahold of me for something she has ways of doing so without that information.

[mikeyb]

Update: I'm now officially moved and all settled in at my friends house. The dogs are doing well at my parents, so things are pretty good. The W did deal a pretty massive blow to me and she knew it would. On friday, my last day at the old place. I was loading up the last of my stuff and my landlord wanted to do a walkthrough of the place. So the LL came by, mentioned a few things that needed some cleaning. Nothing major, and I was outside talking with her afterwards and giving her my key when the W pulled up. She asked about the walkthrough, deposit, etc... I went back inside to take care of those things for the LL and she started to load up her last few things into her car.

Well before she left, she came inside and asked if I wanted to say bye to the kids while she had them (Note for those not following the sitch, it's her friends kids I've grown attached too) at first I didn't want too, because I knew what she was doing, but I also knew the kids seen me then since I was outside when she pulled up and I couldn't do that to them. So I went outside and she just got into the drivers seat and I opened the back door and started to talk to them. The youngest (2yo) was in and out of a nap and she opened her eyes and seen me then jumped to fully awake screaming MIKEY!! I just about lost it, held it together though and gave them hugs and kisses, told them I missed them and love them. Then I started to tear up and had to say bye, shut the door and walked away. And the W just slammed the car into reverse and full speed pulled away, knowing she got a good final blow on me.

So Friday, was a very physically, emotionally, mentally draining day.

[ovrrnbw]

Haha Mikey your W is a brat. And it's only a blow if you let it be a blow. You got to say farewell to the kids. It wasn't about your W, it was about the little twerps that you have memories with! That's how I see it anyways...

[mikeyb]

Haha Mikey your W is a brat. And it's only a blow if you let it be a blow. You got to say farewell to the kids. It wasn't about your W, it was about the little twerps that you have memories with! That's how I see it anyways...

Ya I agree, it was good to see them even if it was only for a few minutes. She just knew it was gonna be an emotional blow to me is all. Oh well, I'm far away now and time to move on with MY life now.

[mikeyb]

Just checking in, it's been 10 days now since I've moved to my friends house. I've had ZERO contact with the W since move out day. Things have been going pretty well here, pretty much keeping to myself as I don't want to intrude too much in my friends family life. Work has been pretty slow the past week and cut our hours a bit. Not exactly what I need right now but I'll manage. Other than that it's been work/home not a whole lot going on right now.. Next weekend I'll be going to my parents to visit my dogs, might also get out and play some disc golf with friends, and possibly busch gardens, and might go see a movie... Who knows.

[mikeyb]

Ok, so need some advice.

The MIL called me today about the final bills for the old place, ok no biggie all squared away. Well apparently my W wants to bring me the dresser that she took so she could proceed to the paperwork. So the MIL asked me if that was it and all done. At which I said no, because I've sat down and went back over everything and there was some stuff missed. We had a cell phone service up until just before BD in which time we switched to be on the MIL plan and cancelled the service. At which time I got a $1,600 bill for the old service. I told her we needed to come to an agreement on that bill in which the MIL said absolutely not and that the W will not be paying it. And she went as far as to say for me to not pay it and just let it hit my credit, which is already in rough shape but I am working towards fixing it.

At this time my W does not have my phone number but I set up a google voice # as a free secondary pseudo # that I can call & text on. I was going to send the W this text in regards to the situation:

It's ****, Going forward anything to do with the divorce is between me & you. I will no longer be discussing anything to do with it with your mother. There are things that still need to be addressed that were missed when we went over everything and if you don't want to take care of them then fine, I will just discuss it with a lawyer. This isn't my permanent number but you can reach me at it.

Yay or Nay??

[Ready2Change]

H: "W, I would like to keep this process moving forward. Here is a list of things that I believe still need to be addressed:


1) $1600 phone bill. This was a joint expense that occurred while we were together. I Expect half for $800.
2) Return or purchase of the dresser. I value it at $xxx dollars. A check of the dresser.
3) Return or purchase of these other items.


Thank you for your attention to this matter."


I recommend email for this type of communication. Texting more like :I sent you an email"

[mikeyb]

H: "W, I would like to keep this process moving forward. Here is a list of things that I believe still need to be addressed:


1) $1600 phone bill. This was a joint expense that occurred while we were together. I Expect half for $800.
2) Return or purchase of the dresser. I value it at $xxx dollars. A check of the dresser.
3) Return or purchase of these other items.


Thank you for your attention to this matter."


I recommend email for this type of communication. Texting more like :I sent you an email"

Thanks! I went this route and sent her this, no text:

Subject: Moving forward with the divorce

W,

I would like to keep the process moving forward. Here is a list of things that I feel still need to be addressed.

1) Old cell phone bill of $1,600.84 This was a joint expense that occurred while we were together and I expect 50% payment for this bill of $800.42
2) Return or purchase of the dresser. If you choose to purchase it I value it at $65
3) Return of my personal belongings noted below:
*Overkill Jacket
*Mtn Dew Dewshine Cup
Please respond with how you would like to proceed with these.

I appreciate your attention to this matter.

**** ******