Based on how my XW and I communicated we did not put anything formal into place but when she moved out we came to a financial agreement on our own and custody arrangement. If my XW and I could not come to an agreement or I felt like she was not considering my best interests as well then I would have pursued something formal.

We did not go through mediation. My XW and I sat down at the kitchen table and hammered it out with no mediation or lawyers. We only paid a lawyer to write up what we agreed upon. In the end I got 50/50, kept our family home and pay my XW $850/mth until my kids are 18.

It all depends on the ability of you and your wife to agree with each other. If you both can truly work and be considerate of each other it will save you thousands of dollars. That said if either one of you feel like you are being taken advantage of or if she gets outside council from her parents, friends, etc. she could do a complete 180.

My XW and I did not have anything major to divide up outside of retirement, savings, and a couple of other things that was done pretty easily. No joint businesses, property or anything major like that so it was pretty cut and dry.

I know you want to assist your W, etc. but remember this if you don't listen to anything else. WHAT YOU ARE SIGNING UP FOR WILL IMPACT YOU FOR THE NEXT 15 TO 20 YEARS AFTER YOU HAVE MOVED ON AND ARE COMPLETELY DETACHED FROM YOUR WIFE.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018