Take time to breathe, man. I know how you feel - I was in the exact same place as you 3 months ago. The world was spinning and there were hits coming in every direction, even from other sources other than your W that you would never expect. It seems like it is all piling up on you and you dont know where to start.
Take one thing you know you need to do and do that. Even if it's just a small thing - do that. Nothing you do.right now will please your W.
That's not to be mean, that's not to be rude, it just is that way. Your W is in MLC now, or at least WAS. She is angry and full of resentment and needs reasons to justify her decision to split up. So dont give her any.
She doesnt mean to do it, but its part of the whole thing, the whole cycle. My W did it too, I see it now in hindsight. Denial first, then Anger. Right now my W is in Replay/Withdrawal with bursts of Anger.
Minimize contact as much as possible. Dont be mean or unkind - just businesslike or neighborly. Dont initiate conversations unless necessary. Start really DBing. It will help a lot.
