My story, trial separation for now

[ovrrnbw]

I will study as much as I can about detachment as a to-do. One thing I distinctly recall is that back in my college days, when the girl I thought was the one at the time (amazing how things change!) and I broke up, I went completely radio silent and licked my wounds. Over time, she reached out multiple times over to check-in, see how I was doing, and even invite me to hang out. By that time I was over it and moved on, but the power of that detachment made her curious and turned the power dynamic to the other side.

This is seriously true, and statistically the best way. There's a website out there that goes super in depth about it called exgfrecovery. I found it very interesting.

One thing that troubles me: a lot of the conversation on here seems to be very black and white, as if it's either "she's in love and everything is great" or "she no longer wants to have anything to do with you". Surely there exists a lot of situations in the middle, no?

I don't understand what Steve85 and AS were saying as far as things being black and white. When my W, Steve's W, or Blu's H came back and decided to patch things up wtih us it wasn't like we jumped back into this wonderful world where we were in love and everything is great like you said. So again I'm not sure what they meant. In my opinion, most relationships are somewhere in between. The 5LL's author stated that the average in love experience lasts less than 2 years.

Is your W conflicted? Clearly. Is she still doing nice things for you? Yes. Maybe out of habit, love, or wanting to keep you as plan B like they mentioned. Hard to say. You are there, you've seen her, and if she looksshaky emotionally than you probably are right. We just don't know what her biggest concerns are.

A lot of people here say the walkaway spouse has to hit "rock bottom", but Sandi said it wasn't rock bottom for her, rather it was "just enough" pain to make her change. Everyone has a different tolerance, so to speak.