If you feel you can do this healing and introspection while living with your wife, I think it is better to do that. I couldn't. If you can't, then perhaps a more physical separation is best. Are you in the UK? I went to a solicitor when my H left and my solictor told me that while he could argue he'd been primary carer in the past, and so would be the obvious choice for residency of the kids should we divorce, given that he'd left and over the months since he'd left the kids had been with me and I had been doing all the school runs, that it was clear I was their primary carer and he was unlikely to be granted residency of them should be want to apply for it. I think that's worth bearing in mind too.
That is the true question, Alison. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do that while living with the wife. Obviously I want to R, she is not in a place to do that now and is probably a lot farther from any change of R after I unleashed all my hurt and anger on her Saturday night. We haven’t told our D6 yet and a separation will force that. I know there is a small part of her that wants our marriage to work but she is so far down the path of D by telling our friends and family about her choice and plans that I don’t see her turning back. I feel so guilty and so much regret for not being the husband I could have been but I do know some of this is her fault too. I could have fixed this years ago but I wasn’t ready. I’m ready now but have no control and it’s scary.
