One thing that troubles me: a lot of the conversation on here seems to be very black and white, as if it's either "she's in love and everything is great" or "she no longer wants to have anything to do with you". Surely there exists a lot of situations in the middle, no?
I know this will surprise you if not shock you, but no, there aren't any situations "in the middle". People who come here have already been BD'd. Once a WAS reaches the point of BD, they are well and truly done with their spouse. They have been suffering in silence for months or years and planning their escape, and once they get up the nerve to BD they have basically transformed into someone else. Someone who doesn't like their spouse and may even hate or despise them. Someone who is more interested in themselves than in the thoughts, feelings and needs of others.
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But I also feel like in the seven years we've spent together, I know her like the back of my hand, and if she was truly 100% done, she'd be done.
You knew who she WAS, you don't know who she IS. A lot of LBS's struggle with this concept, they think they know their spouse better and that the advice given here is subject to personal modification to better fit their particular sitch. But the truth is WE know your wife better than YOU do. We know who she is NOW. And the person she is now is more than likely a stranger to you. A lot of LBS's say it's like "invasion of the bodysnatchers" has happened and a different personality has been transplanted into their old spouse's body. That's not far off the mark. Trust DB'ing, don't assume you know a better way or you may find yourself in even deeper.
