Thanks for your thoughts Alison. We talked more about it last night. She said that it’s not what I think but she still admitted it was wrong. She said he’s just a client that is nice to her and makes her feel good when she hasn’t felt good about herself in a while. She claimed she has never cheated on me in our almost 20 years together. I believe her but there’s still the huge weight of hurt and betrayal that’s is so difficult to process.
We’re now back to up in air on remaining in the house together. The advice here has been to stay but think it’s going to be hard due to lack of trust on both sides - I violated her privacy and she had a pretty minor EA. Even though she says she is going to stop, I’m always going to be wondering when she’s on the couch or in her room if she’s texting him and she’s going to be wondering if I’m snooping. It’s going to be tough. She also says she is angry that I’m changing and bettering myself. She’s angry and hurt because she has tried to get me to change for years and I’m only now doing it when she is leaving- says I will now be a great partner for someone else but couldn’t do it for her. She is right, I feel terrible for how I’ve been in our marriage. I will be a better person and so wish it could be with her but she has given up.
