Destroyd: everything about where we are is weird. After a while you even become used to the weird. I remember telling someone who I don't know terribly well but who knew something was up with me what was going on in my M. She said 'Well THAT is totally inappropriate' and all I could do is agree with her. There are days when you cope with the weird and maybe even get along ok living beside the weird and days where the weird totally overwhelm you, and there's not much rhyme or reason behind either, but the being ok days gradually outweigh the overwhelming days. Earlier on I was driving my kids home and having a silly conversation with ds2 and it was lovely and we were laughing away and I felt carefree. Later on I was reading something funny on the internet to him and laughing so hard I got hiccups. I need more days like that. The overwhelming days sure get you down big time.
In a way I envy you your religious beliefs, they must be a comfort to you. But don't forget that ultimately it's only you who has the power to change yourself in this situation. Use your belief to give you strength to do that.
