I shall have both lamb and lipstick thread 6

[97Hope]

"The key to fighting for your M is to stop fighting for your M"

Read that thread again last night and it is on point. Alison, I think Ginger is right. Going dark will probably be a huge relief for you and a kindness for your H. Give him something else to be miserable about. He will continue to lay it at your door as long as you allow it.
That's what I meant about validating sometimes not working long term. It gets to a point to where they start grasping at ANYTHING to lay at your feet.

He will no doubt accuse you of x, y & z when you go dark, but at this point you are being blamed for the reason the sky is blue and the grass green, so you can just not accept it and take some time to breathe.