You are a better man than me right now IW. If my wife leaves me, I am not sure I will ever be able to look at her again, let alone be at peace with her. She is stealing the love of my life from me, all of my memories and my dreams. I am afraid that I will hate her for that.
I am no better than you, Des. This goal I have has come at a great cost emotionally. I think it comes at a great cost to everyone. That is not to say that I didnt feel like you, or like Unchien, at many times along the way. I still struggle with sadness, frustration, hurt. That's completely normal in situations like these.
I have made it my mission not to hate my W - I have let go of the outcome. I want what is best for me and what is best for her. Even if that is not us being together, as heart wrenching as that might be.
It the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It will be for you too. But you, me, Unchien everyone here has the choice, has the ability to control how we act.
Concentrate on you. Get quiet, calm, clear, and grounded. As someone told me here once not long ago - be the man only a fool would leave. Dont tell her you're doing it, just get out there, get busy living. Let her see it. Once you do that, you'll have peace of mind that you've done all that you can possibly do.
