IW - you are right the old R is over. Disruptive change must happen.
I really like your adaptability. These sitches get weird.
Thanks, man. Yeah they do, sometimes you just gotta roll.with it. I wrote a bunch of stuff on my thread the other day, venting and trying to process/work on myself. By the time I got to the third post I realized just how much I had had to adapt in my life, and the colossal amount of emotional baggage I had been/am carrying with me. That's not to say it was all my fault, because I did not realize I had that much baggage, but now I see very clearly there is an enormous amount of work i have to do on myself, and to grow as a person.
I also brought all that baggage into the relationship without being aware of it.
And yes, you're right - this is disruptive change. But it doesnt have to be negative change, it doesnt have to end with bruised egos and fights and battles over custody, just because that's the "standard". I told W that I am not fighting with her. I told her that regardless of how this turns out I still want to be able to talk to her. That is one of my goals and I cannot do that if we hate each other.
I think if you putthat in your head as a goal (not necessarily communicating it outloud to W, but just think it) it will have a positive impact on your life, wherever it takes you.
