Remember the quote "believe none of what she says and half of what she does". As IH says above if she wanted to work on the MR she would show it through action. Uni, sorry to be blunt but your actions are still being driven by hope of R. I understand the hope for R but in most cases getting to R is taking DB actions that are counter intuitive. Looking from the outside your head is still stuck in the fog. The sooner you can get out of the fog the better for you. Sorry to be blunt, I know this is hard but I see a lot of signs of your actions being driven by hope of R. The hope itself is not bad but remember what the vets advice about the counterintuitive approach that works.
Stay strong U!
I agree. This takes time, a lot of time, and you'll have to go through a grieving process, because it is the end of your MR. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move to a place where you might be ready to see if you can start a new R with your W. What that R looks like is undetermined.
For example, even though my W is still here IHS, I have accepted that the old MR is gone. I dont think she believes me yet, when I have told her that during the last few times when she wanted to talk about the R. Because up until 3 months ago i was still trying to work on the R and she had left it 6 months even earlier than that.
Right now my goal is to be friends. (And yes I know I'll take all kinds of flak for that but I dont really care.) Everyone's sit is different. If it becomes more than that, I'll take that road when I get to it. But I cant think like that right now and i won't.
I know it [censored]. It's really unfair. But it's a problem that they have. We can be compassionate and empathetic, but this is a journey they have to take and we can only work on ourselves/kids right now.
