I’ve been DBing as best I can - GAL and detaching so that I can make the best decisions I can. It’s been going well. Spending more time with the kids as given me strength and I can feel myself healing from the last salvo and growing stronger by the day.
I was triggered today though. D9 videoed W to talk to her. D turned the phone to me and W was in MB making shushing gestures elsewhere. I then asked ‘who she was shushing’, ‘no one’ was the reply with a hint of a smile. I’m now pretty sure S was in the house so it was likely him she was shushing for the call but I can’t be sure.
I was triggered but I seem to be recovering from the incident much quicker than I thought I would. I don’t know what W makes of the incident but I guess I’m not as fussed what she makes of it as I would’ve been previously. I am obviously still way too attached to outcomes but it was a trigger that I wasn’t expecting and was hard to avoid. I really didn’t need it at the moment.
These incidents remind me how hard all of this is. I need to accept the fact I don’t trust this alien who has taken my wife anyway and so must detach from it totally and utterly. I guess the best way to deal with it is to go on as if it never happened and keep on with DB. I’d gone totally dark with W until this incident and may have just undone all that work.
