One of the steps to grieving is anger. It is one of the same steps for MLC. For many of the LBS, the step of anger helps them to move forward and not get stuck in the other steps of grieving. In your case, I would be angry over just how much you have endured over the years and now...you are redoing your place for a renter. I would be angry at so many curve balls...but at the end of the day, I would be thankful to have experienced that emotion and know that I can handle anything that God throws at me. For me, during the early days, anger helped me to move forward and not get stuck in the other steps of grieving.
Anger is not necessarily a bad thing...it helps to experience those pent up emotions and rid ourselves of them doing things that we would normally delay doing. In your case, it could help you w/cleaning out and packing up your h's things, the remodel, gardening (if you have a garden) or even power walking. Use that emotion to help you get to the other side. I am not saying to use it against anyone...but towards something you have delayed doing. Trust me, beating the heck out of a pillow is far better than having those pent up feelings.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
