Last night was amazing and heartbreaking. My wife and I have been the biggest Toronto Raptor fans, we have watched every game for the past 5 years. It is one of the biggest things we share and enjoy. Even going through the past 4 months of MLC hell, we still watch and enjoy the games together. I really felt like things were improving with her, but I got my expectations too high. Our team won the entire championship, we watched it with our kids. We always get super excited over big wins. I wish I didn't, but I went in for a celebratory hug. She accepted it with half a hug, no embrace. It was crushing because 5 months ago we would have celebrated, hugged, intimacy etc. I was so crushed. Anybody in the right frame of mind would have seen how crushed I was, think the kids did. My wife didn't, but I tried really hard to hide it. It certainly showed me that very little has changed in her closeness, relationship with me. This is all so unfair.
This rollercoaster [censored], this morning she was clueless about me being crushed which is probably a good thing. She is acting like everything is fine. She is wanting to buy championship Tshirts and keeps texting me for what I want for her to buy.
I am crushed because I should be so ecstatic over our team winning, we should have celebrated together as a couple. I want this to be over so badly but last night showed me it's far from over. It's amazing how she only see's us as roommates raising kids.
I am also getting nervous for the near future. We will both be off for the summer, home together - all day every day. Our 17 anniversary is coming up in 2 weeks and we are going to my parents 50th wedding anniversary in August. These are going to be the most emotionally difficult things to endure.
