Work colleague came over from the UK to our office on Monday. He was GORGEOUS and funny and we had an amazing day at work. Laughed our heads off and worked well together.
Everyone was going out last night and I was going to go, but I felt a shift and I decided that it was not a good place for me. I was enjoying his attention in a way that would not lead to good things. While I don't think either one of us would have crossed a line, I just knew that I was looking into attention too much.
Felt a little embarrassed that a fun day at work with a handsome man did so much for my confidence, and then I reminded myself that I am 1. Human 2. Still a woman. So I went to bed with my laptop and watched comedy until I fell asleep.
I should mention that this is the first time in 15 years that I have genuinely found a man attractive other than my H. It was both scary and also let me know that if this doesn't work out, I'm not doomed to spinsterhood for life. Don't know if that makes sense to anyone, but I've just been a little scared that I won't ever feel about anyone the way I do my H and that can be sad and scary.
I understand that completely, your H is not your only option and you are open to the potential if you D. That makes complete sense (as does you not finding other men attractive before, you had rightly closed that option off because you were a loyal and loving W) And isn't it nice to flirt and be admired when the person you love most in the world has rejected you? That rejection is crushing and takes a long time to bounce back from, it seems like you're getting there. Good call on not taking it further with this gorgeous man though, admirable
