I am sorry for what you and your family is going through. Teens do test boundaries and sometimes end up on the poorer side of certain choices.
I hear your feelings and do empathize. Please exquisitetobe, you are not a failure. Let that feeling flit away.
Getting to the root of this matter is a very good thing. From what you’ve said about bf and his potential years of jail - he needs a big wake up call. I am pretty sure he would not be stopping on his own. Perhaps this might just turn his life around.
Recently I was involved in an investigation that ended up with around 40 people getting terminated, even more reprimanded, and even more warned with letters on their files. What a thing to go through. I didn’t like it at all.
Now, looking back, I am happy I did the right thing. Those people’s consequences were not without merit. Those that had shown intent and no remorse for their actions got the most severe discipline. Their behaviour was serious and life endangering. Perhaps some had a wake up call.
I don’t know the details of this matter of D16 and bf. I’ve gleaned a few, hardly a complete picture. However, do the right thing. You will feel good about that choice, and I know how hard a choice that is.
It is good that you and D16’s Dad are on the same page for this.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
