Unfortunately, I do not think that this is how people come back together and R. Your belief that it is now summer, that he has had enough time, and that perhaps he owes you an explanation, does not change the reality. The R talks also go against the general advice here. Look, I get it -- you are hurt, you want clarity and you want to know what direction to move in. Limbo SVCKS! ...

The thing is tho, he has already told you --with his actions and words over time -- that he is not in this with you. He left you and he treats you poorly. You already know that. You deserve someone that is willing to change and commit to you. Stop taking his table scraps and thinking by talking more they will become the full course meal. You gotta value yourself more than taking his crumbs, sister.

The only way to get him back is to turn the other cheek and let him go. If he were recommitting to you, remorseful and willing to do anything to save this M, you would already know. I'm sorry to say that, but you would. There would be no reason so set up a time to talk about it. Because HE would be apologizing, pursuing you and trying all on his own. That is what happens when men come back to their Ws and you will know when it is happening! You cannot force him with your timeline. Often men won't do that until they think they have lost you. That was certainly the case in my sitch. My advice to you -- whatever that is worth -- would be to cancel this meeting, and wake up every morning and read Sandi's rules. Then start actually following them. I do not see in your posts (or in Dilly's sitch) where you have given the DB philosophy a true and real shot. I see you both just being friendly and validating one another ....

Maybe down the road he will change, show you someone that has changed and come back and become a decent man that can treat you right. Or maybe he wont. In the mean time, your energy can be taken away from mind reading and waiting, or worse trying to have more R talks, and can be better served with GAL, self-care, and being a great mom and woman! If he doesn't want a W like that, then HIS LOSS! There are plenty of good men that do.

Sorry for the 2by4s, I just don't see how validating and cheering you on is actually helping you move forward. Let him go to get him back and if he doesn't, you wont want him anyways. So simple yet so true, but I never said it was easy to do!

Blu

Last edited by BluWave; 06/12/19 06:33 PM.
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela