I can say confidently that my W's goal of having 3 kids close in age and a satisfying career and living a comfortable lifestyle with a nice home and cars and vacations has put IMMENSE pressure on our MR. Add in a disruptive move, approaching age 40, my inability in my career to work PT... plus a sprinkling of really poor couples communication skills... it was a recipe for disaster.
That's not to brush off my contributions to the deterioration of our marriage. But the accumulation of those factors, and both of us (IMO) having maladaptive coping strategies to all these life changes -- that is the reason for our MR failure. My W has her own narrative and that's okay. We can point to each other's flaws and assign blame - I tend to look at it as a joint failure. It's disappointing and sad but it is what it is.
Is this Feminism at work? I don't know. I can't speak for my W. She clearly envisions a better life without me as her H.
