I feel more detached. I know giving an ultimatum the way I did was both undignified and manipulative and ineffective. I think I needed to hear myself say it more than he needed to hear it from me. It isn't a course of action I recommend and I doubt it brought us one inch closer to R, but it did bring me much much more clarity on what was on offer from him and what wasn't, and how dysfunctional and unacceptable the cake-eating situation had become. I wish there'd been a healthier way for me to achieve that for myself. But it is what it is.
