Yes, I agree. He seems to come to this place now and again, and I open up a bit, and then I either trigger him, or he triggers himself, and becomes unbearable again. When we meet on Friday I am going to take my own car and travel separately so I can leave if he becomes unpleasant. I feel quite certain about this. I am also quite certain that I'm not going to therapy until or unless he's able to communicate like an adult and take some responsibility for himself, and that if therapy becomes another means by which he gets to speak abusively towards me, I will walk out. I am trying to be open to decent behaviour, while blocking unacceptable behaviour.
It hasn't escaped me that this may just be delaying tactics and there's been no heartfelt change. Or that therapy will just demonstrate to me that he has nothing to offer a marriage and I'm correct in walking away. Either way, I will find that out and act accordingly. I think he's picked up on that and whether this is a genuine attempt on his part to respond differently or just another attempt to 'hook' me back into the misery of a limbo that suited him and did not suit me remains to be seen. I'll have my wits about me.
