AS: I have a friend who got Ded 10 years ago and is similarly crushed and bitter and unable to enjoy her life. It is very sad to see and makes me determined not to end up there, she is such a victim and it's such a poor place to be. Yes, we all need to grieve our M and suffer through the pain of BD, but once that pain has lessened somewhat (that pain doesn't last forever thank goodness), then I agree that you have to make active efforts to choose life and to reject bitterness. It's difficult, because bitterness is such a natural response, it's so EASY to blame the person you trusted for betraying that trust. But the older you get the more you realise that with everything in life it's a case of picking yourself up after setbacks and continuing with a PMA. And some days you wallow and then you decide to move forwards and be a better person.
Man I pray that I am not still terribly bitter after 10 years. That is no way to live. God hates divorce. It is such a terrible experience. I read someone recently say it was like licking the floor of Hell. I think that is such a true statement.
