1) yes, I find it really difficult not to do this. Any suggestions? 2) yes, also true. Hmm, I just realised that he didn't give me either the car or house key...And no, the crumbs are ridiculous. I suppose I keep thinking that the crumbs will turn into crusts which will turn into a loaf eventually? Only they haven't, they really haven't. We don't spend much more time together than a few months after BD. Things haven't really warmed up. I think actually we're just both getting used to living without each other. Not sure whether that's a good or a bad thing. In some ways we might spend more proper time together than before BD, but the way he has prioritised his job over his family for the last few years is not healthy for anyone. Actually, I would be ok with not living with him if we went on holiday, had sex and saw each other weekends and 2-3 nights a week. That would work for me if it was decent time together. But he's not offering that. 3) kind of, though I went and had lots of fun. It was like a proper date, there were other couples there and we laughed with them and enjoyed ourselves. No R talks, nothing really, I told him about my weekend away and we chatted about the kids a bit and that was it, quick bite to eat and now I'm on the train home. I feel kind of detached from the outcome of this in a weird way but am still attached to him, if he's not being a totally rude inconsiderate arse he's quite good company and we have so much history together. I don't really know how to get unattached, he is my attachment figure and ripping that attachment apart is difficult (as we are finding, I'm sure he feels the same because I'm the only person he can talk to about most stuff) Also, I'm lonely. I have a bunch of friends but they have their families and jobs and lives and I'm important to them but only as a peripheral thing. I'm busy trying to make new friends and to go to the office and meet more people, but having worked from home for years this is difficult. GALing is pretty knackering and takes a lot of time. My teens are teens and although we spend some time together, they're doing the teen thing of hanging out in their bedrooms with the door shut most of the time. My H is probably the only person I see every week regularly. I like my own company but there is a limit. I don't really know what to do about this, perhaps if I did go dark then I would eventually fill in the gaps.
Yes, I am in IC. And believe it or not I am actually a lot more assertive than I ever was before. I'm stronger and take less crap. I got used to taking a LOT of crap over the years, it's a hard habit to break.
Yes, he is acting like a flake. Sigh. I don't know, I guess I am scared that if I do go dark that he'll take it as rejection and D me once and for all. But maybe that's what I need to do.
Anyway, dodged any R talks and had a really good time this evening. I'm not sure it was because it was with him either, weirdly. Maybe I just need to get someone to go on dates with to do stuff like this instead of him...
