IH, I have to agree with Steve and LH. I understand why you are bitter and angry and agree it totally [censored]. But you need to understand this bitterness is only making the situation more toxic with her. Your wife has made up her mind that she wants a D. She is in control of this and you feel powerless. I suspect you are attempting to get back some degree of control with your actions. But you need to drop the rope and you need to do that for your own good.
I know it is hard and it hurts but GAL and live your own life. When you make a decision only because you don't want to do something to help her you are letting her influence your life. You need to do what you think is right and not because you don't want to do something that will end up helping her or not.
