Dilly 2.1 part 5

[SteveLW]

dilly, just some observations:

1) I see a lot of mind reading here. Trying to gauge how he is feeling, what he will want to discuss, what he is going to do. Mind reading does two things: keeps too much focus on him, and makes you prepare for things that may or may not occur. I've read a lot of sitches here and those that struggle the most do a lot of mind reading.

2) He is stringing you along. And it is time for tough love. All I can tell you is what would work for me. Maybe he isn't like me, as I've never left my W and MR. But I really liked Alison telling you to ask for the key back. I know that is a thorny issue and you aren't entirely comfortable with it. dilly, often times LBSs feel like GAL and detachment will push their WAS further away. Here is the thing, you have to decide if the crumbs this guy is willing to toss to you is what you are willing to live on. Or if you are worth more and that his crumbs are not worthy.

3) You seem really set on this event tonight. My guess is that you couldn't give a flip about the event, but you want to see him. Be in his presence. Have his attention. I say this because I remember in your OP you mentioned wanting to ask him to spend one night a week at home so that you didn't go an entire week without seeing him. WAY TOO ATTACHED.

dilly, are you in IC? I am wondering how someone could allow someone to treat them this way and still keep them in their lives? If I pulled half this crap on my W she would boot me out of her life in an instant. In short, he treats you this way because you let him.

Imagine the impact it would have on him if you changed the locks again. Cancelled all future "appointments" with him. Went dark on him (meaning you didn't initiate ANY contact, and only responded to his direct questions with short, to the point answers, (yes or no questions getting yes or no answers). If the thought of this makes your pulse quicken, causes you to breath hard, and you break out in a sweat, then you are selliing yourself short. Dillydaf will survive and thrive with or without this flake (and yes he is acting like a total flake) in her life!