Dilly, I wrote a similar post to yours to IH but ended up deleting it since this isn't his thread. Plus I don't want anyone here to feel I'm attacking them so instead I will share a personal story of where that chosen path leads. My friend's XW cheated on him and left him. This was before my sitch so I knew nothing of DBing and did not have the equipment to help him through it, which I regret. He handled it poorly, turned to drinking, gained a lot of weight, lost his zest for life. They've been divorced a good 10 years now and he has never dated again. He is still extremely anger and bitter about his divorce. He now lumps all women into one category, they are all liars, cheaters, they think XYZ while men think ABC, men and women aren't compatible, etc. etc. etc. It has affected his personal life, his work life, his relationship with his kids, everything. He doesn't take care of himself or his kids or his home or his cars because he just doesn't care about anything, his whole attitude is "what's the point". And of course even though it's 10 years later it's his ex's fault for every bad thing that continues to happen in his life.
I would just implore anyone going through this misery to work hard to be optimistic about your future. You may not be able to choose to stay with your spouse, but you CAN choose whether to be happy and positive (after getting through the grief after BD of course) or angry and pessimistic. Whichever path you choose, don't blame your spouse, YOU chose that path. I've said it before but the end of my M wasn't the end of my "book" even though I thought for a long time that it would be. It was the close of one chapter of that book and the opening of another. Most of us have many chapters in our life, how boring would your book be if it was just one chapter long? This may be happening against your will but you have 100% control of your future. You control your own destiny.
