Moving past D to a stronger me (pt. 7)

[Davide]

Ovr,

To be fair, XW never pushed for divorce and actually told me she wasn't ready for it. But your point stands since she did push to leave the MR and never showed any desire to return. I have never doubted the sincerity of her emotions, but she is overly led by them and has trouble seeing past them to the point where it could be considered self-centered. She is hurting just like I am hurting over the death of the MR which is fine, the only thing I object to is her dumping those emotions on me.

Nah, I'm not going to work this summer, outside of maybe teaching a week long class at the end of the summer to pick up a grand or so. I'd rather have the freedom to travel, to do what I want when I want. I'm not in a bad financial situation with a super cheap mortgage and few expenses outside of dating, it's just that I depleted the vast majority of my savings to buy her out. I am very frugal and can live on next to nothing and have a very steady if not impressive paycheck.

Good on you with the yoga! My goal is every day that is feasible, even if it just means me practicing in the garage at my parents's place!

Nicole,

Thanks for popping back up. I really value your opinion. More than anything else I miss the intimacy, of having "your person" who you could always turn to when you needed a sympathetic ear or hug. Honestly, going out on dates isn't really tiring, I get energized from it because I almost always have interesting conversations. It looks like I will have 3-4 in the coming week which is cool. Getting ghosted and navigating the texting stage is the disheartening part because everything always starts promising, but it so rarely leads anywhere.


One thing I forgot to mention earlier is that while I signed a contract at my school I still have a placement agency sending me referrals to schools. Of course at this time of the year the referrals have slowed from 5-6 a day to 1 or 2 a week since it is so late. I had more or less decided to come back, unless something spectacular came up. On Friday, the last day of school, I got a new referral which was actually for the school in NYC where I worked for most of my twenties. It was the best job I ever had with amazing colleagues (one of whom is the MS principal currently.) If it were a serious possibility I would definitely at least consider it. However, at this point it just means that they sent my materials (CV/resume and reference letters) to the school. The school itself hasn't actually indicated any interest, and they might not be interested since they have had openings in the past that they didn't consider me for. However, it is also really late in the hiring season for them, so they most likely don't have their pick of the best candidates at this point. I generally don't reach out to schools and let them come to me if they are interested, but I might make an exception in this case. No matter what, I'm going to approach it from a place of no expectations. Most likely nothing comes of it, and if it does progress I'll deal with it as it comes.