Make your flat a place D9 wants to go. Also, D9 will sometimes say she wants to stay in the house and we (her dad and I) will insist that she goes anyway.
This place was always temporary. My W basically led me on to say I would be back soon enough after some time to heal her wounds. I didn’t realise it was all just a way to control me and ‘let me down gently’. I’ve done my best in the single bedroom to make her feel at home when she is here but it isn’t somewhere I can continue to be anyway. Whether I decide to move home or to a place where she has space to call her own is the question. We are doing things that we like together and trying new things. I’m ruing to teach her to cook which is helping her try new food.
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Time and patience yes. But also, be willing to take a long hard look at yourself and take responsibility for the things that went wrong in your M. No-one is 100% responsible for the breakdown of a marriage
There is no doubt I have played my part in getting where we are. The difference is that I am willing to put he work in to fix it and become a better person for a better marriage and a happier family. W is not. She would seemingly prefer to destroy her family. I could deal with it if we’d have tried and failed to fix M but we haven’t even tried. It was just BD then ‘temp’ S and now likely D. It is crushingly difficult to accept let alone forgive.
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The things that worked for me
Breathing and exercise help me. I’d like to challenge myself more - that is something D9 and I should do together. I’m not particularly religious, but it also seems to help. Serious belly laughs do seem to be one of the best ways to get rid of the pain too,
