Can I ask a stupid question ... why do you want to be with a man like this.You deserve so much better. Give him space to become better and carry on with your life in the meantime. You don't need to date. You just need to live.
The short answer is because he wasn't always like this, because I do genuinely think he's depressed and burned out, and because I hope that there's a chance that in time he'll straighten himself out. As he is today, no, I don't want him and I deserve better.
I've had a long day to myself today. Bottomed the house, long walk, coffee with friends and bed early on fresh sheets with a film to watch. I haven't been lonely, and keeping busy has stopped me dwelling on things that aren't in my control or succumbing to self pity. I have made some arrangements for GAL and friends next week, and some work appointments to progress things with my application, and I am hoping for better weather!
I'll be glad to see the kids tomorrow, but it's more appropriate that H has Youngest at his house when he wants to see him rather than here from now on. I suspect not being keen on that - parenting himself, rather than enjoying home comforts while I run around after him and the kids a couple of evenings a week - was behind his reluctance last night. He's not working for the next three weeks or so, so there's no reason why he can't do a fair share of school runs and tea and homework, and do it at his own place rather than coming here, being cooked for and complaining about my parenting and housekeeping. He'll still have all the day while the kids are at school to rest and recovery and please himself. I can't fix him but I don't have to let his misery become mine.
