It's always good to hear from wise old heads (even if you are younger than I). I know what you mean when you refer to putting up a wall between you and your Ex. I am the same way. I have to gird myself to deal with her. I know that I come across as hard and cold, but that's what it takes.
Your focus on your kids is laudable. You sound like a great dad! It is excellent to take pride in that. They should be your focus.
That said, I think it is always best to leave yourself open to the possibility of future romantic relationships. It's more complicated with kids, but like you said, the future is unpredictable. It does require vulnerability, and given all that we have been through that is scary.
Good luck, and thanks for checkin in!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
