Alison you are dealing with one of the most heartbreaking and sad events in life . You are doing a lot better than you think . For me dbing is focusing on yourself, giving your partner space and time , improving yourself, starting with fresh eyes . I am the worst for this but patience is needed .
Priorities wise , kids first in all situations, yourself next , then husband . Have a read of the success stories and try to get some confidence from reading what worked and how the lbs dealt with things . In the meantime what puts a smile on your face ? What gives you pride and confidence? Go out , have a laugh with your friends, get back to being the Alison that only a fool would leave
