You can't control that. So you have to let it go to be what ever it is. She may decide to follow through. She may not. There are many varied things that are influencing her. One may or may not be this IC.
One of the things we LBSs struggle with the most is giving up control of things we can't control. She is going to see this IC whether you like it or not. Now she may stop seeing the IC if she doesn't like it. But that is outside of your control.
Focus on what YOU can control, and that is you. The worst thing you can do is to DB while looking over your shoulder to see if she is noticing. And if she is noticing how she is reacting.
Have you heard the analogy of the picnic? Where you are having a picnic. By yourself. Your W may or may not join you. May or may not even notice you are having a picnic. But you don't care, because you are enjoying your own picnic.
I wrote this post to another poster a while back that was struggling with this concept. You can find the original here:
"Should I start eating or wait for her? Is she coming? Is that her? No that was a tree limb blowing in the breeze. Maybe she will come from the other direction. No I don't see her over there either. Okay I guess I will eat this sandwich. Boy this sandwich would taste so much better if she was sitting on this blanket next to me. Is that her? Nope, Bummer. I guess I will have to eat these cupcakes without her. Shucks, I brought 2, one for each of us."
Your picnic is centered around her........not you.
Detachment is about not reacting emotionally to anything she says or does. It takes time. It takes effort. But once you achieve it the relief is incredible, and the effects on her can be huge.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
