Wife wants a divorce....

[SteveLW]

1) No R talks mean NO R talks. Why would you bring up nesting? That is her thing. Rule #2 after NO R TALKS, is DO NOT DO THE WAS's dirty work for them! Do not start R talks unless you like having your teeth kicked in. If she starts one you listen...validate....and then end it as soon as you can. "We will need to finish this later, I have to.......<insert something you need to go do>. If she asks questions: "So have you considered the nesting suggestion?" You answer like this: "I need more time to consider everything, there is a lot to process."

2) Nesting never works. Read the sitches here that have tried it. The LBS ends up miserable. Jay is going through it right now. Nesting causes more problems then it solves. She wants to walk away, your position should be: "I can't stop you from leaving and I won't try. But I am not going anywhere."

3) Why would you back down from your statement on being ready? So she got upset. BOO HOO. Walkaways do this all the time. "I want out." "Ok, I can't stop you. I will move on." "Wait! What? You aren't sad, crying, begging, pleading? When you behave in ways the WAS doesn't anticipate sometimes they don't like it. That is why DBing is so effective!! It makes you behave in ways they don't expect. If you read sitches where people handled BD properly out of the gate, those sitches have a high % of Ring. You should not have backed down from it. The fact is you are ready to move on, because the alternative is NOT move on. How is that a thing? Not moving on? What are you going to start talking to yourself, eating out of dumpsters and sleeping on park benches? What does NOT moving on look like? It isn't really even an option.

4) Stop trying to gauge progress. Progress is consistent behavior where she is trying to R over a long period of time. Being okay with you being away so much is not progress! Even if it made her back down from nesting. But the fact that you have thermometer out all the time taking her temperature is not DBing. It is not not asserting pressure. It IS a subtle form of pursuit. "I said this, she reacted this way...." "I said that, she reacted that way....." It is like be observed from above all the time. And WASs will rebel against that. And this is why starting R talks, and engaging in them if she does, is a bad idea. Because it nets you nothing.

Stop talking. Start acting. ACTION....not words. And the best thing you can do is NOT start R talks. Not engage in them. And certainly do not entertain her hairbrained schemes.....like nesting.

Not sure what articles you've read on the benefits of nesting, but they are bunk. Sorry to be blunt. Anyone that writes a pro-nesting article either is clueless, or is not anti-divorce.