So so new to this :(

[Nyla79]

I don’t know what I would do without you guys, you give me so much strength! <3 <3 <3

Whenever talking about this situation with anyone here, I always just get encouragement to leave him and people talking bad about him, which as an outsider with no experience in MLC seems to be the only rational thing to do. But it doesn’t really help me in this, when I see how he’s really just destroying everything he’s built.


I met with an old friend of mine, whose husband works with mine. Oh my, the talks around town about him and his girlfriend. He has been very well-respected man and the company he runs, has branded themselves as a very family-oriented business. Now it seems that people are talking about what a joke it is that my H is running the business while openly talking to people about his girlfriend.


I got a call from the school of D12 yesterday. She might have to repeat her grade. I was very surprised as she’s been doing so well in school. The teacher said that in the past 2 months (so after BD) her schoolwork has gone significantly down. I sent a message to my H and we went to see the teacher today. I had sent the teacher email yesterday telling him that H left 2 months ago and that has affected all the kids a lot. At the time I should have notified the school, but I was such a mess myself that I didn’t think about it.


So in the meeting today the teacher explained and showed us how her grades have dropped so badly that she’s failing in 3 subjects. This all in two months!!! And he also said that she has many times cried in school, but when the teacher has asked what was wrong, she has not told him. Listening to this my H just sits there, quiet.
When we got out, I couldn’t be quiet. I was calm and not emotional, I just simply asked “Have you thought at all what consequences your actions have for the kids?” His reply: “Nyla, I don’t want to talk about this now” I said no need to, it was just an observation. And let him be. In a few minutes I continued conversation with normal stuff.

When we drove home with the kids, we had a nice ride. The kids and I were joking around. H was quiet other than once in a while laughing at our jokes.


He’s standard reply to everything seems to be "not now". He doesn’t want to talk about anything that has to do with his leaving us. Not the future i.e. custody, alimonies, assets, nor the kids and the effect this has on them. And it’s frustrating, but like you guys have said to me so many times, it will only get worse. So I’m trying to brace myself.

Peacetoday, I wish he would see that he needs therapy. I guess there’s nothing I or anyone can do to steer him that way… I wll try to do as you say and follow my heart, even though it seems to be lost now too.


DnJ, once again, thank you so much for explaining my inner turmoils for me in a way that makes them more understandable. ((((DnJ))))