that's a shame about your H. I read somewhere that women, after a period of grief, usually thrive after divorce, while men generally jump into the arms of someone or something else, and when that doesn't work, fall into a much longer lasting period of poor physical and mental health. I think women generally have better support systems - and more substantial relationships with family and friends than the superficial thrill of the OW - which wanes, as your H is probably finding out. And probably in marriages like ours were, the woman does a lot of invisible emotional support, life-management, maintaining of social networks and security that the H doesn't realise he was relying on until it's properly gone.
I also think it's really positive that despite the way your sons feel about your H (and who could blame them) they are able to look on him with a bit of sympathy or pity. They're not bitter. That's a testament to the way you've brought them up and the way you've navigated this long and difficult process.
Your pragmatism makes me smile a lot. I hope your H recovers his senses and his health and starts acting with respect and dignity. But if that isn't going to happen, let him have a swift and painless heart attack while the house is still a joint asset.
