I like to differentiate between detachment and indifference. Detaching one’s uncontrolled feelings from our spouse’s behaviours and emotional state. And finding one’s state of indifference towards our spouse. It just provides small chunks and more clarity, IMO.
Yes, you have done very well detaching. The news of OW moving would push that along really well, along with letting go. You question of can one detach too much; to me sounds like you are entering indifference and experiencing the muting of your feelings towards H - the lack of interest in DBing for example. Not to worry perfectly normal.
This is the time where all the noise from H and your feelings will silence and you can dig within, see who you are, who you want to be, do that inner work, and heal. This is an odd time to be sure. Something most people never get to experience. A time you will look back on and see as the gift it truly is.
A caution for you. Indifference lessens your feelings towards H, a lot. This leave a void, and nature abhors a vacuum. Other feelings will seem larger than they really are, as they fill this now empty space. Temptations, questions, doubts, etc... Stay the course. Feelings are fleeting and it will take time for you to find your center again.
You are doing really well Nyla.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
