When I would write someone I would usually pick something out in their profile and strike up conversation around that. For example, in the Dr's profile she mentioned she gets her hair cut twice a year at Great Clips. So my first message to her was the following......"Is it a deal breaker if I spend more money on my hair than you?" She responded with "LOL, no it's not a deal breaker...I probably spend more money on ammo".
I would focus more on those that actually say something more in depth an actually ask you a question to generate conversation.
I don't think living at home is a deal breaker as long as you have a logical explanation when the time comes to reveal it. I would also add that when you have to reveal it make sure you come across confident in your explanation as to why.
If you don't want to pursue then don't. If the man is interested then he will do the work.
